Diary of an Angry American I

Dear Diary:
Today I am angry because while on my way to work, a police officer stopped me due to a faulty headlight and then he proceeded without much probable cause to search my vehicle.

Once done, he issued me a citation for the faulty headlight and then left. Thus making me 20 minutes late for work! Yes, it is my fault for the headlight not being fixed, but it just went out last night!

Dear Diary:

Today, I am angry because an officer appeared at my door and said that one of my neighbors complained because my porch light shines too brightly in their bedroom.

My answer to that; close the blinds please!

Dear Diary:

Another day of anger prevails because again, a policeman appeared at my door and this time he gives me a ticket and says techinically he could have arrested me, but he did not want to take me in.

The ticket was due to what my neighbor claimed to be loud noise past a time in which is now not acceptable to play my stereo. Gee, I guess I had better see which new law goes into effect tommorrow.

Dear Diary:

Do you think this might be harrassment at this point. No, seriously, I was driving down the road with my kids and all and out of nowhere comes the Po-Po!
“What now Officer?” I asked.

“I am sorry sir, you are not allowed to smoke anything while driving your vehicle with children present, I am going to have to write you this ticket!”

Not only did I receive that ticket, but also a ticket because little Johnney had unbuckled his seat belt.

Dear Diary:

Today, while watching my favorite show, it suddenly went haywire…I moved my rabbit ears every which way, I even tried sticking them out the window, but still I did not get any reception. Do you think that Communision has taken over our airwaves?

Dear Diary:

Now inside this filthy cell and I don’t quite understand what took place. All I know, is I was woke up out of a dead sleep by some pounding at my door. Upon arriving at the door, I seen 3 armed Police Officers and wondered what was up now? I peeked through the little slim crack of the door to inquire.

“We got a call that someone heard some noises coming from your house and was wanting to check on the well-being of your children!” the officer replied.

Opening the door a nudge further, “I told them the children are fine, we are all fine. Thanks for asking, but I am going back to bed!”

At that point, they insisted upon entering my home so they could see for themselves exactly what condition my children were in!

“Sir,” I said, “Where is your search warrant? I am not going to let you in my home and scare my children at this hour of the morning!”

The next thing I know, these officers invaded my home and handcuffed me and here I am, alone behind these bars! – unable to protect my most valuable assets.