http://www.satirewire.com/news/march02/poor.shtml
3/26/02 Tuesday
RICH
AWED BY POOR'S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT
"No Way We Could Do It," Say Leaders of Wealthy Nations
Monterrey,
Mexico (SatireWire.com)
At a United
Nations conference last week to address world poverty,
dozens of leaders from the planet's wealthiest nations concluded
they were "totally in awe" of the 1.2 billion people
who
reportedly live on less than $1 a day.
With no medicine, sanitation, or food, the poor do it anyway.
"Lord
knows I couldn't do it," U.S. President George W. Bush
told a roundtable of colleagues Friday. "The mortgage on
my
ranch alone is $5,500 a month."
"I
think the hardest part would be keeping it up," added
South African Finance Minister Trevor Manuel. "Every now
and then I'd have to sneak out for a nice meal with my wife,
or maybe a movie."
But truly
poor people, several delegates noted in wonder,
never do that.
"How
often do you see a really poor person splurge for a
steak dinner, or an upgrade to first class on an airliner?"
said French Prime Minister Jacque Chirac. "I tell you,
these people are incredible."
Said Bush,
after a momentary pause: "I'd like to propose that
the world doesn't just have a billion poor people, it's
got a billion heroes."
However,
some attending the International Conference on
Financing for Development respectfully suggested the
leaders, while apparently no longer indifferent, were
missing the point.
"The
poor don't have mortgages. They don't have houses,"
said U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan. "Most days,
they don't even have food."
"Oh
heavens no, I'd have to eat," replied World Trade
Organization chief Michael Moore. "I could maybe skimp
on dessert, but that's it."
As the
meeting adjourned, a spokesman for the World Development
Movement announced that almost half the earth's population -
2.8 billion people - lives on less than $2 a day.
The attendees stood in unison to cheer until it was
explained to them that these people wanted money.
Copyright
© 2002, SatireWire.
(A
bit of dark humor from www.satirewire.com)
